all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
