My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
