oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
