The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
