An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Randomize
