Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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