he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
