Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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