the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
