omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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