How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
