A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
