Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
