If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
