Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
