yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
