The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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