I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
