one might say we're banned from that church
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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