i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
Randomize
