Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
