My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
