im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
