so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
