I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
