Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
