I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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