Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish i was in the wii world.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
