we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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