I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
