My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
