It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize
