Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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