So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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