This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize