pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize