So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
