some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
