I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
