I didn't shave. On purpose
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
