What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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