meet me or not, i'm out of control
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
