he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
