What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
