I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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