I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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