i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
