Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
