Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
