I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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