she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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