I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
