I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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