They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize