Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
