i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize