also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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