You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
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