I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
