Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize