He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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