Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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