It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
