I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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