Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
