I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
