maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
