Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize
