3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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