"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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