Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
